Finding Home

To say that it only took an unexpected encounter with a college student to shake Sarah Sullivan's faith would be a misconception. However, it would be the start of a life changing process for Sullivan as she embarked on finding her true inner peace.

Sullivan is a senior at the University of Oklahoma, working hard toward a major in pre-dental hygiene and religious studies. Sullivan was raised as a Southern Baptist, having lived in both Texas and Oklahoma. Sullivan is an extrovert who isn't afraid to speak her mind, but is happy to help others. Her positive attitude is contagious, and she has a bright smile.

In most respects, Sullivan seems to be a typical All-American. Yet, she wears a scarf around her head and neck called a hijab, and she prays a minimum of five times a day. Sullivan is a Muslim, and some people have been quick to let this fact blind them from the individual that she is.

Sullivan has always had religion in her life. In Wichita Falls, Texas, she was a practicing Christian for most of her life.

"When I say conservative, I mean very conservative" Sullivan says of her background. "In high school I was titled a saint, angel, prude, because I was the girl that didn't agree with drugs, sex, drinking, all that stuff."

So in Sullivan's freshman year of college, when she was asked by a fellow student why she was staying behind one weekend at the dorms while her sorority sisters left to go party, Sullivan replied that it was against her faith to drink. The inquisitive student revealed that his faith also did not condone drinking. When Sullivan asked about his faith, he revealed that he was a Muslim. That fall of 2007 was the first time she was introduced to Islam.

They continued to meet to discuss their respective religions and soon, two other Muslims joined the group.

“The four of us would meet and discuss religion. I would bring the Bible and they would bring the Quran, and we would just talk and share, communicate, dialogue, and discuss,” says Sullivan.

As the discussion group meetings continued, Sullivan began to question her faith as the others asked increasingly difficult questions about Christianity, questions that they could answer about their own faith of Islam without hesitation.

“I couldn’t find the answers. I would try to look in the Bible and look for answers because I was like ‘[the Bible] is what we base everything on, why can’t I find the answers?’” says Sullivan. “It was a rigorous, growing, terrifying time of my life.”

After fighting with herself for some time, Sullivan finally took the first step to accept Islam into her life, by partaking in the first pillar of Islam, the Shalhada, or declaration of faith. By reciting the Shalhada, she accepted Islam. Sullivan says that a feeling of peace came over her afterwards.

“It was a feeling of home.”

Sullivan says that while her conversion has been difficult for her family members, they are accepting and understanding. Sullivan also feels that in her three years of being a Muslim, she has become a better person. On Saturdays, she and her friends (some who have also converted to Islam) volunteer at the Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma. Her charity work makes her feel good about herself, and also adheres to the fourth pillar of Islam, Zakat, or charity.

Sullivan loves Oklahoma, but she recognizes that living in the Bible belt has not been easy for her or her friends. Despite this, she stands by her faith more than ever.

“My religion comes first. God comes first in my life, not anyone else. I don’t fear what other people say… I think the challenge makes me love my religion even more, and I fight for it even more.”

Being the outspoken type, Sullivan is eager to teach others the ways of Islam - not preaching, but informing, so they can get a better understanding of Islam and what it really represents. Sullivan finds the media to be particularly at fault for the misconceptions and negativity toward Islam.

“With the media and everything else, I feel bombarded with having to defend my religion” says Sullivan. “It’s heartbreaking to me because I feel like I’m screaming at the top of my lungs ‘This is not Islam! I don’t practice this! Every Muslim I know doesn’t agree with this’, and people are, like, ‘Well, you’re just one person.’”

Sullivan doesn’t seem to be losing hope in people however. She feels that underneath, no matter what religion a person does or does not practice, people are able to find their roots as human beings and make connections.

“It’s just connecting that line underneath all of these religions, people can find common ground and relate. It’s worth it as the end of the day. I may get upset, but it just makes me love my religion more. It makes me discuss it more. It makes me challenge it and question it, and I seek knowledge. Not just about my religion but other religions because I want to relate to these people of faith. So, it’s all good basically.”